I have been reading a book called "A Confident Heart" by Renee Swope. Tonight, God lead to me read just one more chapter.. and I am so thankful.
I have been struggling with letting go of a few things in my past. Whether it was because I didn't want to, or the fact that I simply didn't have the strength to, I was holding fast to my "Ancient Ruins". Sorrows, disappointments, rejections, anger--I was keeping these locked away in the depths of my heart. Though I did not realize it before now, these feelings were affecting me still today, causing my heart to be guarded, and my soul to be skeptical.
This evening, God informed me that if I truly have hope for moving forward in His plan for me, I needed to surrender my past. There are a few key events in my life that have left me hopeless--lonely, confused, hurt, you name it. However, God has promised hope for my future--and yours too!
We can find hope in His promise.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
We can find peace in his presence.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
We can find certainty in His protection.
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7
We can find healing in His grace.
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3
I have been so wrapped up in my future, that I have failed to face my broken past. Because of shame and even pride, I have chosen to hide it away, and pretend it doesn't exist. However, the deeper I bury it, the longer it is going to affect my relationship with others, and ultimately, my relationship with Christ.
My prayer is that God provides the strength for me to just--let go. I certainly haven't been able to do it on my own--I've too stubborn! Much to my sinful attitude's dismay, He commands us to "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2
God knew us in our pain and suffering, and still loves us. He knew us in our sin and disobedience, and still loves us. He knew us as we built a deceitful future on lies, temptations, and selfishness--and He still loves us!
Forgive. Ask for forgiveness. Free yourself from a past that you long to forget. I pray that you find strength in Him to let go of this pain, and trust that He's offering you a freedom more valuable than anything of this world.
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8
...and folks, those are my 2am thoughts. Thanks for reading!