"Silence"

As the Spirit led me to my keyboard this morning, I was pleasantly surprised. It has been quite a while since He has placed words in my heart to share with others through these posts.

I sat down, and immediately started praying for His guidance in what I was to write. It went a little something like this...

"Dear, God. Please lay Your words upon my heart. Am I to write about strength? Am I to write about selfishness? Am I to write about loneliness? Am I to write about this? Am I to write about that? Am I? Am I? This? That?"

Abruptly, He stopped me with a simple, "Silence."

I smiled. He always proves to know me better than I ever anticipate. I thought I needed to offer suggestions and ideas, like it was a brainstorming meeting. [Seriously, Self?] But He knew exactly what I needed. I needed to shut up and just listen. In our silence, He is able to offer assurance and peace.

"Come to Me, and rest in My Peace. My face is shining upon you, in rays of Peace transcending understanding. Instead of trying to figure things out yourself, you can relax in the Presence of the One who knows everything." from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. 

He reminded me that I do not fix things, I do not control outcomes, and I certainly do not run His show. He is sovereign, and His plan for all of us is much bigger and better than we could imagine with our racing, narrow minds.

Our silence may not be natural, but it is much needed.

I have a physical struggle with being still and silent. I often cave to the sinful pressures of filling my time with anything and everything except for what truly matters--Christ. Instead of resting in His peace and presence, I feel the need to fix, clean, feed on attention, update social media, organize, write, read, shop, you name it! I have a selfish desire for instant achievement, gratification, and recognition.

Blind faith goes directly against the nature of being a planner. Being silent and resting on faith has been hard, but His hand offers the best feeling of comfort I have ever known! Even though I have no idea where He is leading me, I can be certain it is in the right direction.

Remember: silence is not synonymous with loneliness. Although you can't always hear His voice or sense His presence, He is with you! Not only is He with you, but He is the best company one could ever have.

During this busy holiday season, I pray that you do not lose sight of Christ and the Cross. Rest in His peace and promise. Do not fall to the pressures of solely controlling your future.  Listen, trust, and follow.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Thanks for reading.

Mighty to Save

Have you recently been overwhelmed with life? Struggles with work, relationships, school, societal pressures, or your faith? How about all of the above? That's me.

Today I was driving and "Mighty to Save" started playing on the radio. As soon as I heard the intro, I started tearing up. The lyrics started running through my head, and my heart began to fill with God's love and peace.

I instantly sensed His presence, and it was as though He said, "Listen. I've got this."

Savior

He can move the mountains

My God is mighty to save

He is might mighty to save.

Forever

Author of salvation

He rose and conquered the grave

Jesus conquered the grave.

I have heard this song countless times, but never has it impacted me like today.

I asked myself, how can I...
    ...be overwhelmed with a Savior who can move mountains?
    ...feel abandoned with a God who is mighty to save?
    ...crumble under temporary depression with a God whose goodness is Forever?
    ...judge myself so harshly, when I have been created by the Author of Salvation?
    ...give up hope when my Savior rose and conquered the grave?

We will have troubles--but in His strength, we can do [and endure] all things. The same God who can move mountains is standing by your side. He conquered the grave -- I believe He is able to handle our daily struggles! So thankful.

Change

After a whirlwind of a week, I am mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. As I drove home tonight from a social gathering, I thought to myself, "Weird. It feels like I don't even fit into my own life." I know that sounds dramatic, but it was seriously how I felt. More and more lately I find myself listening, observing, and wondering why it seems so... different.

I asked a friend if he ever felt the same way, and he mentioned that life isn't always what changes. This sparked the idea that my life ISN'T changing--I am.

I am certainly grateful for the changes, but the acceptance and adjustment is a struggle. A year ago, I saw myself on the path to a husband, kids, and a comfortable lifestyle with a nice paycheck. I wanted to be a part of the social group highly listed in my book. I learned, however, that when we place people or things on pedestals (other than Christ), we are inevitably disappointed.

"Do not turn to idols or make for yourselves any gods of cast metal:  I am the Lord your God." Leviticus 19:4

"You shall not make idols for yourselves or erect an image or pillar, and you shall not set up a figured stone in your land to bow down to it, for I am the Lord your God." Leviticus 26:1

Now, I realize that I have not literally raised an idol made of metal, or a figured stone, but rather metaphorically. I have made these "picture perfect" outcomes my idols. The money, the big house, the large family, the loving [and ridiculously handsome] husband, the summer vacations, the friends at the high end of the social chain. These are all lies-of-happiness that have distracted me from my true purpose here on Earth. Don't get me wrong, these are all WONDERFUL things, and I am happy for those who are blessed to have such. But, when they become idols, they will surely perish. Jesus Christ is the one true constant, and should be my main focus of worship.

Back to my changing ways--- I have found myself struggling to recognize the girl involved with so numerous networks and activities (both good, and not so good) even just a year ago. But why would I want to? I should want to focus on the new me--the me that is growing daily in Christ!

"Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church." Ephesians 4:15

It was a relief to hear this from God, as I have been pretty darn bummed about growing apart from my friends. He has a different plan for my life (in contrast to my friends who are engaged/married/moving way for new opportunities). I need to stop thinking that I am being punished for something, and embrace the fact that He has something unique planned for my future.

This is one of my (if not my favorite) verses from the Bible, and I remind myself of this daily.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'Plans not to harm you, but to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

For those of you who feel lost right now, hang in there! Personally, I am so thankful He will never leave me nor forsake me. On evenings like this, it's incredible to know that I can run into His open arms...and guess what? You can too. Any time, any place, any situation--He is welcomes you with a comforting spirit.

Thanks for reading!

Ruins

Another sleepless night--and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I have been reading a book called "A Confident Heart" by Renee Swope. Tonight, God lead to me read just one more chapter.. and I am so thankful.

I have been struggling with letting go of a few things in my past. Whether it was because I didn't want to, or the fact that I simply didn't have the strength to, I was holding fast to my "Ancient Ruins". Sorrows, disappointments, rejections, anger--I was keeping these locked away in the depths of my heart. Though I did  not realize it before now, these feelings were affecting me still today, causing my heart to be guarded, and my soul to be skeptical.

This evening, God informed me that if I truly have hope for moving forward in His plan for me, I needed to surrender my past. There are a few key events in my life that have left me hopeless--lonely, confused, hurt, you name it. However, God has promised hope for my future--and yours too!

We can find hope in His promise.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

We can find peace in his presence.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

We can find certainty in His protection.
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

We can find healing in His grace.
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

I have been so wrapped up in my future, that I have failed to face my broken past. Because of shame and even pride, I have chosen to hide it away, and pretend it doesn't exist. However, the deeper I bury it, the longer it is going to affect my relationship with others, and ultimately, my relationship with Christ.

My prayer is that God provides the strength for me to just--let go. I certainly haven't been able to do it on my own--I've too stubborn! Much to my sinful attitude's dismay, He commands us to "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2

God knew us in our pain and suffering, and still loves us. He knew us in our sin and disobedience, and still loves us. He knew us as we built a deceitful future on lies,  temptations, and selfishness--and He still loves us!

Forgive. Ask for forgiveness. Free yourself from a past that you long to forget. I pray that you find strength in Him to let go of this pain, and trust that He's offering you a freedom more valuable than anything of this world.

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8

...and folks, those are my 2am thoughts. Thanks for reading!

Worn

This past couple of months has been ridiculously hectic! Without the strength from Christ, and the support of loved ones, I would not be sane right now. The verse which has kept me moving is Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Many of you are worn down, and tired. Whether it's children, spouses, jobs, friends, or whatever, life is tiring. I recently had a conversation with a dear friend, and she reminded me of something very important. It is not the amount of faith you have that's important, it's the object of that faith. During the past couple of weeks, I haven't even had the energy to have a strong conversation with God.

I was driving in my car a few days ago, feeling like I was on my last limb. I remembered what my friend had said... so I simply whispered to God, "Help." I was so tired and worn, that help was the only word I could come up with. However, He knows my situation, He knows my need, and He knows that my faith is in Him. It was a blessing to know that I didn't have to have a long speech or prayer of my faith, because He already knew that my faith, even though weak and feeble, was in His strength.

Turning faith away from myself, and toward Him helped me to make it through a difficult couple of weeks. If you are struggling with something--anything--put your faith in God. Even if it's just the size of a mustard seed.  I wish you all a great week, and I hope to be back on here soon!

Thanks for reading.

Respect and Reputations

Hey, ladies! In light of all that has been publicized about the “Hoes of [Insert your city here]”, I wanted to take a few minutes to expand on this. If you are unaware of what I am even talking about, please see the following article:

http://www.kake.com/news/headlines/Wichita-Girls-Victims-Of-Embarrassing-Cyber-Attacks-187362421.html?utm_medium=referral&ref=421&utm_source=t.co

Apparently, this happened to some of the girls in my hometown as well. It’s easy to get caught up in looking and feeling pretty—especially when you gain attention. Right? Well, it’s important to remember that not all attention is positive. It is better to just remove the temptation for others—don’t give them the opportunity to embarrass you, or to lust over you. You are a beautiful child of God—cherish that reputation!

Just a few points of advice:

1. Keep your FB clean.  

Don’t post any pictures of yourself in promiscuous poses to any form of social media outlet. Even if you are making a “silly” face, your only-half-clothed body language can say a lot by itself.

2. Watch what you say

Creating an immoral identity does not happen through pictures alone—it is through words as well. Inappropriate language and vulgar insinuations can damage a reputation just as badly. Professing love to one another in posts, or how you can’t wait to “get down” with someone on the weekend. These make you appear extremely vulnerable, and trust me, there are predators looking for just that. Protect yourself, and stay a little mysterious.

3. Value your dignity

Dignity is a wonderful thing! Until you realized it’s lost. It is one thing that no one can take away without your permission. The choices we make can determine whether or not we forfeit that dignity.

“Right now I think censorship is necessary; the things they're doing and saying in films right now just shouldn't be allowed. There's no dignity anymore and I think that's very important.” -Mae West 

4. Respect yourself

Classic ideology – Others will not respect you if you don’t choose to respect yourself. Makes sense, right? For example. If you have posted numerous pictures (or even texted via cell phone) to a boy, he’s going to assume you’re open to all possibilities. Why wouldn’t he? You’ve already proven that you do not respect yourself enough to wait, and save yourself for a true partnership in Christ.

“Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself. “- Abraham Joshua Heschel 

5. Hold up to your moral standards

We are all raised differently. Not everyone has had the chance to learn from great examples—I understand this. But I pray that if you were taught that women were not valuable and precious, that you would learn that now.  I would hope that, deep down you understand the differences between right and wrong in these specific situations.

“Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” – 1 Corinthians 15:33

If this post is coming off as self-righteous, please hear me out. I have absolutely (repeatedly) screwed up numbers 1-5. It is from the lessons I learned that I write this with urgency. Remember, that once you post something on the internet, it is there FOREVER. Even if you delete it in every way you know how, it remains. There is no telling where it will end up. The internet is a very, very powerful tool and, unfortunately, is frequently used for evil.

I am saddened that this cyber bullying has happened to these young girls—it breaks my heart. But my prayer is that other young girls will learn from this, and prevent it from happening again. Once a reputation is ruined—it is extremely difficult (and painful) to repair. Why risk it? I cannot tell you this enough—you are beautiful being you. You don’t need the attention of a boy to satisfy your need to feel wanted. Jesus wants your attention! How magnificent is that? He lives to protect you from evil, and to give you a promising future.

No song today--

Thanks for reading! 

Steal my Show

What a night!

Have you ever had someone repeatedly poke your arm in the middle of the night and say, "Wake up, wake up, I need to talk to you"?

Yep, that was my night.

God was saying just that. It was almost like I knew the "serious talk" was coming. "Okay, okay! I'm up!"

I started praying, asking for Him to tell me what He needed to--prayed that my 2am heart would be receptive (and cognisant). With the rush of upcoming classes, programs at work, and fitness/weightloss, I quickly began losing sight of all he had prepared me to do this semester. Don't get me wrong, all of these make me who I am, and they are all good things. But that's just it--classes, programs, weightloss--they're only things. Focused back on material items, beauty, and outward adornment, I took a step in the wrong direction. To sum it up, I was just becoming self-centered again. (Why is this so easy?!)

He led me to this scripture and it turned my night upside down.
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness." Philippians 2:3-7

He reminded me that He should be my main focus. There's a wonderful song by Vicky Beeching titled "The Wonder of the Cross". These lyrics became a prayer in my heart tonight: "May I never lose the wonder, the wonder of the Cross". Amen to that!

After turning on my Spotify (since I wasn't able to sleep anyway), a song I had never heard before started playing. I'm not much of a Toby Mac fan (sorry!!), so I don't have any of his music on my lists. However, at some point, this song was added to my playlist--"Steal my Show". I was cleaning my room, and just caught the first part of the lyrics, and I couldn't believe it! I listened to the entire song, and it was absolutely relevant to the conversation I just finished with Christ. Needless to say, it was a miracle that it ended up on my playlist, and played at that moment in time. 

The lyrics that caught me?

If You wanna steal my show, I'll sit back and watch You go
If You got somethin' to say, go on and take it away
Need You to steal my show, can't wait to watch You go
So take it away...
My life
My friends
My heart
It's all Yours, God
Take it away
My dreams
My fears
My family
My career
Take it away
Take it away
It's all Yours, God
Take it away
Take it away
It's You I wanna live for.

Alright, Toby--I'll cut you some slack. 

What an amazing experience with the Holy Spirit tonight. Just thought I'd share.

Thanks for reading!