It has definitely been a while since my last post, but I try not to write unless I feel that the message is inspired by God. However, tonight's interaction is certainly worth sharing.
Lately, I have been on fire for the Lord, and He has blessed me in many amazing ways. There have been great messages at church, and I have spent wonderful time with my friends and church family. However, being the busy-minded bee that I am, I have been asking God for answers. I don't let the unknown overwhelm me, but I do frequently ask Him for answers regarding various aspects of my life. That doesn't sound too horrible, right? Well, let me illustrate it in another way.
Picture the all-time famous scenario of the "mini-van family". Headed out to an exciting destination--father behind the wheel, children in the backseat. Okay, so what does this scenario have to do with my situation? Well, I am the children in the backseat constantly nagging at the driver: "Are we there yet?", "Dad, where are we going?", "Are we there yet?", "When are we going to stop again?", "Are we there yeeeeet?!"
I know that's a silly way to look at it, but that's what I see. Instead of trusting in God as the leader and driver to the ultimate destination, I was questioning his leadership.Instead of asking God for patience, and peace in His plan, I was expecting black and white answers. Rest assure that He is as powerful in mystery as He is in understanding.
Okay, back to tonight's conversation. As I was thinking of the next steps in my life, I started asking for clear answers (even specific names). I started begging for a sign, or a message, or ANYTHING that showed me a path, one way or the other. As He remained silent, I started to become defensive. Questioning turned into negotiating.
"Okay, God, I've followed you this far blindly, can you please give me a vision? A sign?"
"I will continue to follow you faithfully, but I need some kind of reassurance that I'm doing the right thing."
"If you just give me direct instructions... If you, I will... If you, I will..."
"I don't owe you anything."
Yeeeeeouch! That is some tough love right there... and absolute truth. With those few words, He said so much. He pointed out the biggest (what should have been obvious to me) point--that He does not owe me an answer, He does not owe me a vision, and He does not owe me a blue print of my life. On the flip side, it reminded me that it is I who owes Him EVERYTHING. I owe Him my trust, my obedience, my life.
I often get a kick out of some of the things God speaks to me, for it's usually in a similar humor of my own. When He spoke those words to me, I immediately shut up. When I did, I had to smile, because I visualized Him telling me to "put a sock in it."
Tonight was an excellent reminder that God is in control, He knows His plans for you, and it is not His responsibility to fill you in on all the details. I will continue to follow the path on which He is leading me, blind, but walking by faith.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
Thanks for reading!