Friday, January 18, 2013

Respect and Reputations

Hey, ladies! In light of all that has been publicized about the “Hoes of [Insert your city here]”, I wanted to take a few minutes to expand on this. If you are unaware of what I am even talking about, please see the following article:

Apparently, this happened to some of the girls in my hometown as well. It’s easy to get caught up in looking and feeling pretty—especially when you gain attention. Right? Well, it’s important to remember that not all attention is positive. It is better to just remove the temptation for others—don’t give them the opportunity to embarrass you, or to lust over you. You are a beautiful child of God—cherish that reputation!

Just a few points of advice:
1. Keep your FB clean.  
Don’t post any pictures of yourself in promiscuous poses to any form of social media outlet. Even if you are making a “silly” face, your only-half-clothed body language can say a lot by itself.

2. Watch what you say
Creating an immoral identity does not happen through pictures alone—it is through words as well. Inappropriate language and vulgar insinuations can damage a reputation just as badly. Professing love to one another in posts, or how you can’t wait to “get down” with someone on the weekend. These make you appear extremely vulnerable, and trust me, there are predators looking for just that. Protect yourself, and stay a little mysterious.

3. Value your dignity
Dignity is a wonderful thing! Until you realized it’s lost. It is one thing that no one can take away without your permission. The choices we make can determine whether or not we forfeit that dignity.
“Right now I think censorship is necessary; the things they're doing and saying in films right now just shouldn't be allowed. There's no dignity anymore and I think that's very important.” -Mae West 

4. Respect yourself
Classic ideology – Others will not respect you if you don’t choose to respect yourself. Makes sense, right? For example. If you have posted numerous pictures (or even texted via cell phone) to a boy, he’s going to assume you’re open to all possibilities. Why wouldn’t he? You’ve already proven that you do not respect yourself enough to wait, and save yourself for a true partnership in Christ.
“Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself. “- Abraham Joshua Heschel 

5. Hold up to your moral standards
We are all raised differently. Not everyone has had the chance to learn from great examples—I understand this. But I pray that if you were taught that women were not valuable and precious, that you would learn that now.  I would hope that, deep down you understand the differences between right and wrong in these specific situations.

“Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” – 1 Corinthians 15:33

If this post is coming off as self-righteous, please hear me out. I have absolutely (repeatedly) screwed up numbers 1-5. It is from the lessons I learned that I write this with urgency. Remember, that once you post something on the internet, it is there FOREVER. Even if you delete it in every way you know how, it remains. There is no telling where it will end up. The internet is a very, very powerful tool and, unfortunately, is frequently used for evil.

I am saddened that this cyber bullying has happened to these young girls—it breaks my heart. But my prayer is that other young girls will learn from this, and prevent it from happening again. Once a reputation is ruined—it is extremely difficult (and painful) to repair. Why risk it? I cannot tell you this enough—you are beautiful being you. You don’t need the attention of a boy to satisfy your need to feel wanted. Jesus wants your attention! How magnificent is that? He lives to protect you from evil, and to give you a promising future.

No song today--
Thanks for reading! 


Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Steal my Show

What a night!

Have you ever had someone repeatedly poke your arm in the middle of the night and say, "Wake up, wake up, I need to talk to you"?

Yep, that was my night.

God was saying just that. It was almost like I knew the "serious talk" was coming. "Okay, okay! I'm up!"

I started praying, asking for Him to tell me what He needed to--prayed that my 2am heart would be receptive (and cognisant). With the rush of upcoming classes, programs at work, and fitness/weightloss, I quickly began losing sight of all he had prepared me to do this semester. Don't get me wrong, all of these make me who I am, and they are all good things. But that's just it--classes, programs, weightloss--they're only things. Focused back on material items, beauty, and outward adornment, I took a step in the wrong direction. To sum it up, I was just becoming self-centered again. (Why is this so easy?!)

He led me to this scripture and it turned my night upside down.
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness." Philippians 2:3-7

He reminded me that He should be my main focus. There's a wonderful song by Vicky Beeching titled "The Wonder of the Cross". These lyrics became a prayer in my heart tonight: "May I never lose the wonder, the wonder of the Cross". Amen to that!

After turning on my Spotify (since I wasn't able to sleep anyway), a song I had never heard before started playing. I'm not much of a Toby Mac fan (sorry!!), so I don't have any of his music on my lists. However, at some point, this song was added to my playlist--"Steal my Show". I was cleaning my room, and just caught the first part of the lyrics, and I couldn't believe it! I listened to the entire song, and it was absolutely relevant to the conversation I just finished with Christ. Needless to say, it was a miracle that it ended up on my playlist, and played at that moment in time. 

The lyrics that caught me?

If You wanna steal my show, I'll sit back and watch You go
If You got somethin' to say, go on and take it away
Need You to steal my show, can't wait to watch You go
So take it away...

My life
My friends
My heart
It's all Yours, God
Take it away
My dreams
My fears
My family
My career
Take it away
Take it away
It's all Yours, God
Take it away
Take it away
It's You I wanna live for.


Alright, Toby--I'll cut you some slack. 
What an amazing experience with the Holy Spirit tonight. Just thought I'd share.


Thanks for reading!


Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Reflections and Resolutions


Welcome to 2013!

When I think back to my own “life plan” from this time last year, I could never have imagined how much God would intervene. God is never-failing, and  I am always amazed at how much He knows me better than I know myself! 

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” - Jeremiah 1:5

He has appointed everyone a unique mission--will you accept yours?

2012 REFLECTIONS
My number one resolution for 2012 was to become truly joyful in the Lord Jesus Christ. Please note that I did not say “happy” or “easy” or “comfortable”. These words, to me, express temporary feelings that are stolen by the trials of life.  God has molded my heart throughout the year, and prepared me for the work I was created to do. I have found that in order to understand the true value (and gift) of life, one must understand the true meaning of the Gospel.

"He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed." 1 Peter 2:24

"He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins." Ephesians 1:7

I mean, seriously, does anybody else feel like dancing for joy when they read that?!

There were a few highlights in 2012 that absolutely changed my life (for the Glory of God!):
  • Community Group – I have grown closer with my church family, and have expanded my Bible knowledge (as well as practical application of the Word). 
  • Mentoring – Right before the turn of the year, I started to mentor two additional young ladies.
  • Obedience to God – It has been difficult, but I truly believe that this past year, I was able to put my personal preferences aside, to follow the commands of God. He has confirmed my decisions on various occasions, thus encouraging me to press on. "For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
  • Confidence in Him – Before I had the strength of Jesus Christ within me, I was unsure about my future, my calling, and my ability to fulfill his purpose for me. But thankfully, I have grown to live by the words of Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
  • New faces – I have met so many new (and amazing) people within this past year. Whether it was at work, church or simply the quick crossing of paths, God has placed numerous Christ-centered people in my life. They have provided encouragement, fresh perspectives, and opportunities for growth.
2013 RESOLUTIONS
 I’m so excited to see what is in store for 2013. I have listed a few resolutions for the new year!
  • Mentoring—In 2012, I slipped a bit with my mentee from Big Brothers, Big Sisters. My plan for this year is to begin growing with her spiritually, as well as the girls from the Carpenter Place.
  • Church Involvement – I plan to stay involved with the children’s ministry, as well as the hospitality for my church! The opportunity to serve my church family is an answered prayer. “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16
  • Family Time—So many precious moments with family can be lost because of busy schedules (mainly my own schedule…) I pray that 2013 will bring me much love, much laughter, and many memories with my beautiful family.

I pray that you have a successful year, and that God blesses you immensely! I ask that you please pray for Imani, Josie, and Justice as they are all entering an age of critical development, surrounded by a society that is saturated with false messages.

Attached below is a song by Audio Adrenaline that has such a wonderful message, and it is absolutely relevant to my current mission. Give it a listen--you won't regret it.

Thanks for reading!


Thursday, November 15, 2012

Throw in the Gavel

Apparently I'm just on fire with this whole blogging thing -- two days in a row!

This post stems from not a revelation, not one specific instance of anything, but simply from shallow thinking. I often struggle with the pressure of being judged. Heck, I even have trouble with constructive criticism! (But that's neither here nor there... back to my point we go.) It seems as though I spend more time worrying about myself, than I do uplifting others. So, Facebook, you really want to know what's on my mind?

What can I do to become accepted into this group?
Why would a person have an issue with me? What have I done?
How come I am not good enough for this person or that person?
How do I measure up, or compare to others?
What if they're judging me right now? My clothes? My personality? My weight? My intelligence? Heaven forbid, my profile picture?!

Get over myself, right? I'm judging myself enough for everyone!
"The least amount of judging we can do, the better off we are."- Michael J. Fox

It is an important thing of which to be cautious. Most people are, in some way, concerned about being judged. Be careful, tough, to not become the biggest critic of them all. I will be the first to admit that I am very self-aware when it comes to my image, personality, work ethic, reputation, and other various aspects of my life. Yes, you should definitely be mindful, but it shouldn't leave you with a feeling of inferiority... or even superiority, for that matter.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets."- Clark Moustakas

It is a great thing to always be improving yourself--working out, eating healthy, setting goals, etc. Just remember that we should do these things to glorify God! ... Not to glorify ourselves.

God made you in His image! That makes you pretty neat.

....In the word's of Lit, "It's no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy." Word.

Thanks for reading!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Tough Love

It has definitely been a while since my last post, but I try not to write unless I feel that the message is inspired by God. However, tonight's interaction is certainly worth sharing.

Lately, I have been on fire for the Lord, and He has blessed me in many amazing ways. There have been great messages at church, and I have spent wonderful time with my friends and church family. However, being the busy-minded bee that I am, I have been asking God for answers. I don't let the unknown overwhelm me, but I do frequently ask Him for answers regarding various aspects of my life. That doesn't sound too horrible, right? Well, let me illustrate it in another way.

Picture the all-time famous scenario of the "mini-van family". Headed out to an exciting destination--father behind the wheel, children in the backseat. Okay, so what does this scenario have to do with my situation? Well, I am the children in the backseat constantly nagging at the driver: "Are we there yet?", "Dad, where are we going?",  "Are we there yet?", "When are we going to stop again?", "Are we there yeeeeet?!"

I know that's a silly way to look at it, but that's what I see. Instead of trusting in God as the leader and driver to the ultimate destination, I was questioning his leadership.Instead of asking God for patience, and peace in His plan, I was expecting black and white answers. Rest assure that He is as powerful in mystery as He is in understanding.

Okay, back to tonight's conversation. As I was thinking of the next steps in my life, I started asking for clear answers (even specific names). I started begging for a sign, or a message, or ANYTHING that showed me a path, one way or the other. As He remained silent, I started to become defensive. Questioning turned into negotiating.

"Okay, God, I've followed you this far blindly, can you please give me a vision? A sign?"

"I will continue to follow you faithfully, but I need some kind of reassurance that I'm doing the right thing."

"If you just give me direct instructions... If you, I will... If you, I will..."

His response?

"I don't owe you anything."

Yeeeeeouch! That is some tough love right there... and absolute truth. With those few words, He said so much. He pointed out the biggest (what should have been obvious to me) point--that He does not owe me an answer, He does not owe me a vision, and He does not owe me a blue print of my life. On the flip side, it reminded me that it is I who owes Him EVERYTHING. I owe Him my trust, my obedience, my life.

I often get a kick out of some of the things God speaks to me, for it's usually in a similar humor of my own. When He spoke those words to me, I immediately shut up. When I did, I had to smile, because I visualized Him telling me to "put a sock in it."

Tonight was an excellent reminder that God is in control, He knows His plans for you, and it is not His responsibility to fill you in on all the details. I will continue to follow the path on which He is leading me, blind, but walking by faith.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

Thanks for reading!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Trusting through Troubles


I’m beginning to get an idea of just how powerful living in the Spirit can be. It’s no longer just a thought or belief—but a feeling, a sensation, an experience.

Lately I have been feeling very calm, relaxed, and genuinely happy with life. I have found rest in God, and peace with the story that he has written for me. I have been able to see the beauty in his creations here on earth, and take time to be thankful for all He has given me. For the first time (in a long time) I have surrendered my desire to control my own life, and have given up the control. In this, I have felt a sense of freedom that I have been missing for quite some time—a feeling of not only joy in Him, but happiness as well.

Just to provide a bit of background before this story, keep in mind that I have been volunteering at my church—working in the children's ministry. Because I spend some of my Sundays worshiping in this fashion, I’m not able to attend every service and hear the sermon. It has been a few weeks since I have been able to sit in (with vacation and what not), so I was extremely excited to hear God’s word yesterday morning. I woke up way too early for a weekend, enjoyed the precious gift of a beautiful sunrise, and took time to pray and thank God for his mercy. I was calm, and my soul was at rest.

On my way to church I was fired up. I wasn’t sure exactly what would be covered in the sermon, but I was eager to hear God’s word regardless. Church started and as I started worshiping through song, I started to get an uncomfortable feeling all throughout my body—as well as my mind. I started losing track of the words… I was staring at the screen, but my focus turned to myself-- and my pounding heart, shortness of breath, and dizziness. I was confused. It had been months since my last full-blown anxiety attack. I had shown no signs of issues lately, and had been extremely cool, calm, and collected. Why was this happening—and why NOW? I started to think back to what I had eaten, if I had taken any over-the-counter medicine earlier, or if I had consumed too much caffeine. Nope, normal routine. Then it hit me—there is someone who really does not want me to hear this message, let alone enjoy hearing it.

In most situations it would be a normal option to just remove myself from whatever position, to help subdue the attack. However, as soon as I heard that I would be hearing a sermon on the crucifixion of Christ (important, important, important for the good news of the Gospel), it solidified that my previous hunch was correct. There was a force pushing me away from the Word, and making it almost impossible to concentrate and understand the message.

I refused to remove myself from the sermon. In my head, I repeatedly yelled at this awful and selfish being—out of frustration, fear, and utter anger that he was challenging my faith. When having an attack, it’s easy to make things about “me”. It’s, essentially, what causes it. What is happening to me? Why is he picking on me? What if people can tell? What if I’m uncomfortable? Until, at one point I thought, “Hey, this isn’t about you. It’s only part of the story, and He isn’t shocked that this is happening.” Ouch. My comfort isn’t on the top of everyone’s priority list? I’m not number one? Reality check.

During an anxiety attack, the world around me is blocked out. Because of the focus on my own situation, I rarely remember much of what went on around me. But this day was different. I wasn’t in church to be comfortable, but I was there to hear His Word. Even through the whirlwind of emotions, physical sensations, and thought patterns, I was able to hear the message that day. Think of it like tunnel vision—I couldn’t tell you who was sitting in front of me, or even if someone’s cell phone started ringing during service (let’s hope it didn’t). However, I can remember piece-by-piece the message of Christ dying on the Cross—for us. I made it through the sermon, but still slipped out of the worship service a bit early. Once at my car, I was relieved to feel normal again, yet frustrated that I left early. It was eerie how quickly the onset was, and how quickly it went away (this isn’t typically how they are for me). Again, I realized that there was a third (and much, much lesser) party involved.

This scared the hell out of me—no pun intended. Knowing that the closer I cling to Christ, the harder evil is going to try and pull me down, is a terrifying thought. It’s easy to settle with this thought, “If I back off on the worshiping, maybe he’ll back up on terrorizing.” I mean, it makes sense, right? You’d think he had bigger fish to fry. Wrong-o. I realized that I need Christ at all times—in these times more than ever. It may seem like you’re losing the battle with (insert any of the million possible answers here), but in reality, this war has already been won. This verse has spoken, greatly, to me lately, so I thought I would share.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” -John 16:33

Later that afternoon, I started running my Sunday errands. At the store, I usually browse through the “What to Read” books. However, today, I was led to a section that I don’t normally visit, and there was a book that caught my eye. I picked it up and debated on whether or not I should spend the money to buy it. After flipping through a few pages, I actually decided to put it back on the shelf.  I continued my shopping, but with a gut feeling that I should go back for the book. Needless to say, by the grace of God, it ended up in my shopping basket.  

When I returned home, I immediately started reading it. A few hours later—after inspiration, chills, and messages from his word, I was sat at the end, astounded. God knew exactly what I needed to hear, and He was determined to get me to listen. There was actually a quote in the book that referred to this.  

“God is very, very patient. He will continue calling to us, He will shout when He must, and He will always welcome us back with loving, nonjudgmental arms” –Mary Neal, MD.  (Cue goosebumps.)

Even after a scary and confusing attack during the service, I strived to obey Him. I may have had a horrible experience for a few minutes, but the benefits to following him are eternal. I will continue to trust and follow His guidance to the best of my ability. Life may not always be filled with happiness, but I am certainly filled with joy. As long as you keep your eyes focused on Jesus, He will carry you through the troubles. I can feel God working in me right now, and I feel something big on the horizon. Good or bad, I’m patiently awaiting whatever it is He as planned for my future.

The following verse was in my book—and I absolutely love it! I try to pray this every day on my way to work (my version’s not as eloquent).

“Remind me each morning of your constant love, for I put my trust in you. My prayers go up to you; Show me the way I should go.” –Psalm 143:8

Wonderful song (below) about how God will lever let you go. You should check it out. I love you all, and thanks for reading! 


Thursday, August 9, 2012

Messy Misinterpretations


In today's society, we constantly encounter misunderstandings of tone, attitude, and context through the use of social media. It has created a barrier between ourselves and those with whom we communicate. That being said, it is easy to fall into the habit of misrepresenting our intentions, or even misreading someone else's. Although still young, I have learned many lessons regarding the attempt to decode a message received from someone--especially from someone of the opposite sex. 

I have included three scenarios, and with these, a bit of commentary. Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made--don't join in on the games that can ultimately lead to hurt, heartbreak, and even hate. 

Scenario One:
Receiving that text after midnight. You know, the one that comes out of nowhere on a Friday night, simply stating "Hey ;)". I can assure you, that wink becomes dangerous after the sun goes down. It's tough to assume that anyone would want to strike up a decent, worthwhile conversation at that hour. Remember, for most people, feelings are somewhat amplified in the evenings: sadness, loneliness, vulnerability.  Be cautious of how you respond and even with how you let a late-night discussion alter your emotions. 

Scenario Two:
Oh, the ever-so-common drunk dial. You can't help but to feel a bit of satisfaction when someone's slurring through their undying confession of love for you...right? It's possible that I am making it sound silly, but how often does he confess it sober? More importantly, how often does he show it sober? If you're having a difficult time coming up with an answer to that, it's probably a phone call that never should have been answered in the first place. You deserve to hear it from a sober mind and honest heart. 

Scenario Three: 
Ah, the old "You should come over."--winner of the Most Deliberately-Ambiguous Statement of the Year award! It's 1am, and you are inviting me over to make cookies and play video games alone? Maybe, but not likely. It could be loaded with mischievous [scary, messy, confusing, misleading, heartbreaking, selfish] intentions which may remain undiscovered until it's too late. Always think through the situation before making a decision. 

Rough news for you ladies: These scenarios are endless. However, if you cling to Christ and pray for wisdom and guidance, many of the deceptions and temptations can be overcome through Him.

Only God can turn a mess into a message, a test into a testimony, a trial into a triumph, a victim into a victory.

Beth Moore makes a strong suggestion in one of her sermons, which I feel is applicable to this post:
"Desperation does not make good decisions...ask God to fill you with His Spirit--to fill up every empty, broken place in you, and then see how you feel about that situation."

I realize that these specific situations may seem trivial, but the danger lies in how you allow yourself to respond to them: physically, emotionally, spiritually. Trust me--letting yourself get mixed up in these schemes can lead to a loss of self-respect. Let me ask you this: If you don't respect yourself, are you crazy enough to believe someone else will? 

I don't mean for this post to make guys look bad. Being on the other side of those scenarios brings just as much heartache and pain.. so I would not recommend tempting others either! This was simply to bring awareness to the fact that times are changing, and social media makes it easier to share personal and intimate information with the click of a button. Temptation is high, and tools are more accessible than ever. Be smart!

As you meet new people this academic year, hold strong to your values and principles. Once compromised, it is extremely difficult to patch-up your integrity. You're a beautiful being, and should always be treated with respect. I pray that God blesses you all this year, and that he provides discernment for the trying times. 

"See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ." -Colossians 2:8

This song, "Steady My Heart", has a great message--and of course it rocks because it's Kari Jobe. You should give it a listen. Much love!